I 

I guess the main problem is that I don't understand the purpose of tea.

it must be frustrating to be a republican, so real and so stupid

I know Obama was elected and the world didn't end, but if the rich pay more in taxes it will all fall apart- all of it, this whole banker based system we have in place, our perfect consumer society will get shot full of holes like a kindergarten class.

my dad had a beard, but i don't really look at him as a "man"

Let's make sure I got this straight-- good kids get toys, bad kids get punched in the neck? Or do we just kinda 'know' all kids suck so everyone gets a neck punch? What about rich kids? Can we punch them extra? Training for this job sucks, they should open this position up for immigrants with a better education (less first world problems like diabetes and consumption burnout, not to mention the raging pill monkey santa always has to -excuse my goy- 'schlepp' along with that sack of plastic shit due to the shear physical requirements of this stupid stupid job. Sorry, not job, "career".)

So when exactly do I get to punch them in the neck? Do i do it when they're sleeping? because that seems  especially shitty. I don't know anything.

i love it when fat dudes with beards don't approve

I don't judge you-or I do, doesn't matter. What matters is he was a phony and therefore deserved to die.

other things ruin christmas too

First they came for our trees

I think I finally am using this squirrel the way they all beg to be used (outside of food)

fat dudes are such a drain on resources

Here's that shit you wanted... and yeah, the polar bears wanted me to tell you that they hate you.

the pride wears off after a couple of years

i have etsy dream copy, but then i wouldn't even be able to do that.

Not content with the prospect of being just an internet meme, she continued her quest for the perfect vintage typewriter on which to compose her great american housewife novel. She maintained it would be so epic she wouldn't even want to shop anymore; or remember the hole material possessions could fill.