I 

I guess the main problem is that I don't understand the purpose of tea.

it must be frustrating to be a republican, so real and so stupid

I know Obama was elected and the world didn't end, but if the rich pay more in taxes it will all fall apart- all of it, this whole banker based system we have in place, our perfect consumer society will get shot full of holes like a kindergarten class.

my dad had a beard, but i don't really look at him as a "man"

Let's make sure I got this straight-- good kids get toys, bad kids get punched in the neck? Or do we just kinda 'know' all kids suck so everyone gets a neck punch? What about rich kids? Can we punch them extra? Training for this job sucks, they should open this position up for immigrants with a better education (less first world problems like diabetes and consumption burnout, not to mention the raging pill monkey santa always has to -excuse my goy- 'schlepp' along with that sack of plastic shit due to the shear physical requirements of this stupid stupid job. Sorry, not job, "career".)

So when exactly do I get to punch them in the neck? Do i do it when they're sleeping? because that seems  especially shitty. I don't know anything.

i love it when fat dudes with beards don't approve

I don't judge you-or I do, doesn't matter. What matters is he was a phony and therefore deserved to die.

other things ruin christmas too

First they came for our trees

I think I finally am using this squirrel the way they all beg to be used (outside of food)

fat dudes are such a drain on resources

Here's that shit you wanted... and yeah, the polar bears wanted me to tell you that they hate you.

the pride wears off after a couple of years

i have etsy dream copy, but then i wouldn't even be able to do that.

Not content with the prospect of being just an internet meme, she continued her quest for the perfect vintage typewriter on which to compose her great american housewife novel. She maintained it would be so epic she wouldn't even want to shop anymore; or remember the hole material possessions could fill.

there are things i should be doing

Shows, shit, shitshows, things that will keep me relevant, interested, but more important, interesting...but yeah...no. 

melancholera

the original of this is 96'x 170', it's taken up my whole life. i don't know why that butterfly feels so bad, but he must have done something really horrible to that flat head lady. it's nice to think about their relationship, especially now that I know it had to come to this. relationships never end well even when they never end.

Reaching across the aisle to dickpunch a racist

First of all-we quit giving money to everything red because God will give them money, then we send all of the unemployed people in the blue part down to the red part to rip up the roads and bridges built by the federal government. It's a win/win, unless you consider the south which lost a long time ago.
We should quit stringing them along. We're like the cheerleaders who talk to the retarded guy on the bus about his puffy coat because they think they are being nice but they are only making him feel like he is in reach of something he will never ever have.

i draw awful things

not like of concentration camps or the inside of cancer, but awful things that i can't stop drawing. i'm not going to call it a problem, but i am going to start incorporating it into the other cuterawful things i sell. maybe someone will help me if they can see the problem, when they smell it, they just walk away.

I shop at estate sales

Please come to the old church tonight for 'muerephernalia' (you can use that if you want...i don't know why anyone would, but feel free).

I will be showing lots of estate sale finds, like these nice ladies here. They come in their original estate frames. Like Dorian Gray--but cuter.

that time of years again

like all good cheeses, i have a process.

 koalas are kinda cunts, right? they aren't really bears, and pandas are just weak. symbolically it works too, but that's not the point. poor pandas and polars, they hate it when we drive.

Brenda felt that was still some resentment there, and she couldn't walk away from that legitimate of an emotion. You only get one chance at being an awful person and she wasn't about to blow it over something as petty as 'moving on'.

group show in November

Please come, it's a nice old building filled with nice old things and some younger ones.

women do have purchasing power

You think you're important now- wait until we get to pick out the colors for the nursery. Those paint samples make you feel like the world is yours to decorate and fill with shit you can't afford. You're like an artist- but with money.

Like any woman with a mother, I wonder when I will end

Tracy tried to remember the exact moment she went from being a strong woman with valid opinions to "fucking crazy."

It's love, all of it, especially the crying part.

regrets are for thinkers

Hey there sunshine, don't be sad, mistakes are just something you make while you wait for life to end.

I'm just going to take my little puppy and my freakishly huge head and just walk right the fuck away. It's probably for the best or at least better than you-est.

It will get better, here, take this flower as a gesture of beauty. But remember, talking about astrology is the smartest thing people who talk about astrology can do. I have two more flowers...it's a tough lesson.

and "stuff"

There was a world where her denim overalls were respected as the metaphor they were intended, and her anger was backed by more than 'brain fat'. And sweet-sweet revenge would be hers.

She could see it- and it looked pretty shitty too.

i mean, really?

and why would you bother eating them if you knew it all ended up as shit in the end? and what besides the red hot chili peppers is shit, anyway? it's all gray, brownish tannish gray-which is why, design-wise (there should be a shortcut for that as it is the 'literally' of the aesthetically attractive), so 'dwise', it's nice that the artist chose orange for the printing, or maybe that was just the only color available during the war because they were using their 'dwise' resources to kill germans before they killed jews--either way, i LOVE it with the orange (i'm super into orange right now, you know, 'dwise').

i couldn't be bothered to read the chapter, but i'm pretty sure they didn't mention tacos which sucks, because tacos are my favorite food right now. 'What aren't foods', i think that's the real question here, and the post apocalyptic version of this reader totally addresses that.

why is this book not used in schools anymore?

it has everything any of us ever need to know.

i'm concerned about the modern mittman

"No fruit roll ups for you until you thank HIM. "

to see a mother stand up for jesus like that with those insolent cheeto eating children made me proud. Like a prod in the right direction or a jolt from above by a guy who hates his job--i really knew that we should all be thankful for the pile of chemical treated genetically modified poison our fat mother lady chooses to foist on us. it gave me a moment of pause, a sudden awareness of how everything changes and nothing is lost. Thanks fat bitch with the ugly kids, you made me human.

we expect to expend so little for so much

Kris drank and pissed, you have no idea how busy she was.

relationships are a lot of career

Deep down she knew that she could avoid all of it if she could just talk enough to her husband. They talked, you know, like people talk...but didn't really talk enough. They didn't say anything and instead of accepting that she had nothing to say, she just thought that if she kept talking she would talk enough. And, as we all know, with just the right amount of talking, everything gets better instead of whatever the fuck it is now. Then she thought about yellow and why a lot of women didn't wear yellow, like that lady at the pool. Why did she think she could get away with yellow? and that kid...why did that kid suck so bad...what was it about him that made him completely intol... then even she quit listening.

He thought he could avoid all of it if ... then he quit listening too.

i remind myself that the world is full of phonies

I look down on this all of the time, and then i remember to take my pills.

i like to honky tonk sitting down with some sort of bread in my hands

There's nothing like drinking margaritas next to an old growth campfire to make you feel like camping is a choice and not something you need to do because you're poor or some other form of sad.

"Obviously Mandy exposed her vagina because she hoped there would be coke. I mean, women don't just do that thinking their dad's going to show up... like it's some sadfatbat signal. Silly girls and their stupid dreams."

re-pubelicunts

Dress AND coat? Wow! why don't you just use that dude's dick to take off your stupid hat, little miss 'getrapes a lot?!'

I could use the liquor cabinet for shoes if my closet was better

Val wished there were something in her closet to hide the shame.

at least i'm having "fun"

"Like pretty much anything else, you keep working it and eventually it goes away."

It was almost hard to talk about it until I remembered how much I love the sound of my own voice.

Let someone else worry about horrifying the kids today!

only a week and somethin' left to get down to Posies

Show up until third week in June-please check it out

I have something to do for a couple of days!

Please come to my show this month at Posies, they're nice people and you can sit outside (you know, because it's hot, not because it's full of really bad 'art'.

"I am leaving that to the Montessori school. They have all wood toys, it's like they have a mommy who loves them but is made of wood and doesn't have a full time job that is more satisfying than them. You can't put a price on that shit, especially if you have never had kids. I'm so different, you can tell by my little Ava's screen printed bike shirt."

Opening on Thursday May 17th

Lots and lots of new things, other things and stuff! please come, they have music and bands and so much love.

Ainsley knew she could get it together were something to come up; but was less convinced anything would come up.

pill monkey

There's three now, that's so many more than two. They make great get well cards for your nanny or your pep pep--or anyone else who is sick enough to not take it all so seriously. Or, maybe someone broke their shoulder, these are great "sorry you broke your collarbone" cards if this were like 1974 and people still did shit like sent cards to people who break their shoulders instead of just writing "bummer about your shoulder" on their facebook page--and I suppose people then had the decency to not ramble on about their collarbone and show you x-rays because, really, they should be ashamed that they are so inept at riding a bike that costs more than fresh water for Haiti.

I'm sending one right now!

every idea i have ever had