I 

I guess the main problem is that I don't understand the purpose of tea.

it must be frustrating to be a republican, so real and so stupid

I know Obama was elected and the world didn't end, but if the rich pay more in taxes it will all fall apart- all of it, this whole banker based system we have in place, our perfect consumer society will get shot full of holes like a kindergarten class.

my dad had a beard, but i don't really look at him as a "man"

Let's make sure I got this straight-- good kids get toys, bad kids get punched in the neck? Or do we just kinda 'know' all kids suck so everyone gets a neck punch? What about rich kids? Can we punch them extra? Training for this job sucks, they should open this position up for immigrants with a better education (less first world problems like diabetes and consumption burnout, not to mention the raging pill monkey santa always has to -excuse my goy- 'schlepp' along with that sack of plastic shit due to the shear physical requirements of this stupid stupid job. Sorry, not job, "career".)

So when exactly do I get to punch them in the neck? Do i do it when they're sleeping? because that seems  especially shitty. I don't know anything.

i love it when fat dudes with beards don't approve

I don't judge you-or I do, doesn't matter. What matters is he was a phony and therefore deserved to die.

other things ruin christmas too

First they came for our trees

I think I finally am using this squirrel the way they all beg to be used (outside of food)

fat dudes are such a drain on resources

Here's that shit you wanted... and yeah, the polar bears wanted me to tell you that they hate you.