it must be nice to have all of that attention

it is still sad, ironically

and every day at this time on this day i think about how awesome it would be if it were awesome. i listen to the talking ones talk about the "lost potential" and the bad art tributes that invariably end with a grave. i see the logic, brown is really the easiest color to make, art wise. we all cling to the brilliant sad to make our sad more brilliant. it is a little bright, through the clouds, the dirt, this...but it is never brilliant. i see it coming but i still miss.

"Oh Well, Okay"

Here's the silhouette, the face always turned away
The bleeding color gone to black, dying like a day
Couldn't figure out what made you so unhappy
Shook your head to say no no no
And stopped for a spell
And stayed that way
Oh well, okay

I got pictures, I just don't see it anymore
Climbing hour upon hour through a total bore
With the one I keep, where it never fades
In the safety of a pitch-black mind
An airless cell
That blocks the day
Oh well, okay

If you get a feeling next time you see me
Do me a favor and let me know
'Cos it's hard to tell
It's hard to say
Oh well, okay
Oh well, okay
Oh well, okay

Happy Birthday Dan!

To be honest, I don't remember what he said, but I know that I was so mad I could barely see and really, I didn't even want to come to this wedding because I knew he would be here with her and they would act like they were having fun and happy to be getting married and totally oblivious to the fact that I am telling this story to anyone who will listen because --well, ME, I am sad, gazebos are nice and shit, but what about me?! Plus, the bar was only open for two hours, who has an open bar for only two hours? How poor is she? Well, when I get married things will be different.